"That perfect high where not a single damn thing can bother you."
Best of Autocorrect
I got to “Dad” and had to scroll down and reblog for a break because I laughed so hard I nearly threw up twice.
"Killing her seems a bit harsh"
“Truth or dare”
“What’s your credit card number”
sleepovers when i’m 10: omg guys we’re going to sTAY UP ALL NIGHT AND PARTY!!!!
sleepovers when i’m 15: if you fucking make a sound after midnight you’re leaving
do you remember when you were a kid and the doorbell rang you would run and see who it was, now i just run to my room instead
being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you